after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
