Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people

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(207): Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people http://tfl.nu/csbk

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa

(281): View more from Texas

what did you steal

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.

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(832): We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa (281): what did you steal (832): frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list. http://tfl.nu/gckp

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(740): View more from Ohio

worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.

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(740): worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try. http://tfl.nu/d3im

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(704): View more from North Carolina

but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?

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(704): but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn? http://tfl.nu/yhjz

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(614): View more from Ohio

I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to

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(614): I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to http://tfl.nu/gbtt

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(512): View more from Texas

My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.

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(512): My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context. http://tfl.nu/nfjx

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(318): View more from Louisiana

her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again

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(318): her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again http://tfl.nu/8jzt

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(207): View more from Maine

Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........

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(207): Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010"......... http://tfl.nu/3k58

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.

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(610): 90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you. http://tfl.nu/qiqv

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(786): View more from Florida

you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.

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(786): you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat. http://tfl.nu/8z2x

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.

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(918): What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how. http://tfl.nu/o4fq

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(281): View more from Texas

NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.

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(281): NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME. http://tfl.nu/v341

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(601): View more from Mississippi

You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.

(1-601): View more from Mississippi

Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?

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(601): You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench. (1-601): Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan? http://tfl.nu/mbl9

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(210): View more from Texas

With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created

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(210): With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created http://tfl.nu/4ngz

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper

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(704): I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper http://tfl.nu/u2a8

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