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Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
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