Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
