Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
