That reminds me...we need to get swords
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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