I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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