Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
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