i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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