its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We don't watch enough power rangers
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
