I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
