I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
