YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
