Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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