I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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