I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
