We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Randomize
