I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
