so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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