she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
