i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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