# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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