Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
