I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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