I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
