Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
