I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
