I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
