Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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