it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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