So drunk its hurt
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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