I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
