you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
