fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
