i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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