Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
