I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
