I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
