YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize