**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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