We named our party play list daddy issues
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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