just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
