All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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