Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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