Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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