I am puke
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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