he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just found puke in my bra..
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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