No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it