Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"