I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
