meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
