Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
