I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
