please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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