It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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