you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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