ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
