in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
