Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize