Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
