I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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