u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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