I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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